I’ve decided to take a trip around the world. Of course, there are the obvious reasons—seeing the sights, fulfilling a dream, and, let’s be honest, who doesn’t fantasize about a year-long vacation? But for me, there’s a deeper purpose, one that feels more significant, especially in the long run.
Not too long ago, I believed happiness was something I could achieve through external milestones. “I’ll buy a new car, and I’ll be happy,” or, “Once I land that big corporate job, I’ll be the happiest person on Earth.” And yes, happiness came with those achievements, but it was fleeting. The more I chased it, the shorter it lasted, and the harder I had to work for the next hit.
Eventually, I realized happiness isn’t a destination—it’s a way of living. You can choose to be happy here and now, appreciating the little things, being present in the moment, smiling, and staying open to the world and those around you.
Now, I’m learning how to live with problems—yes, with problems like uncertainty and instability. For so long, I tried to control every aspect of my life, thinking it would lead to comfort and peace. But the truth is, it took an enormous amount of energy, and the more I achieved, the less satisfaction I felt. Comfort, it turns out, can be pretty boring.
I started picturing my life over the next five, ten, even twenty years, and the thought of continuing like this filled me with dread. I kept pushing for stability, hoping it would bring lasting satisfaction, but instead, I realized I was stuck in a cycle—always chasing, never finding contentment. That’s when it hit me: the problems never end. Life is an endless race to nowhere unless you change your perspective. I was searching for balance in external things, but the answer lay within.
I began analyzing my discomfort with uncertainty and realized it stemmed from fear—specifically, fears about the future. “What if the money runs out? What if I lose my job? What if something terrible happens?” These phantom fears, as I call them, feel real even though they haven’t happened. They steal my time, drain my energy, and weigh on my health.
Our brains are powerful. They can turn imagined scenarios into reality. For example, Ksu loves taking baths in the evenings, and every time, I freak out, convinced the water will overflow and flood the apartment—even though it’s never happened. One morning, I woke up to what I thought was the sound of water running, and my usual fear kicked in. I dragged myself out of bed to check, only to find the bathtub empty and the tap off. The sound I heard was from the street. My brain had turned a phantom fear into something that felt real.
There are so many of these phantom fears, and while fear is a natural protective response, I’ve realized there’s a difference between real fear that keeps you safe and phantom fear that paralyzes you. The latter leads to stress and exhaustion, all for nothing.
So why take on this massive trip around the world? Because it’s an equation with countless unknowns. Anything could happen, and that’s the point. I want to learn how to be prepared for what I can control while letting go of the constant fear about things that likely won’t happen.
I don’t want to live in a state of constant anxiety about the future. Sure, I’ll plan for it, but I don’t want to live there. I’ve already learned not to dwell on the past—it’s done, and I’ve made peace with it. Now, it’s time to stop worrying about the future and tackle challenges as they come.
My goal is to feel comfortable in life’s uncomfortable situations. To do that, I need to step out of my comfort zone. And what better way to do that than by taking an around-the-world trip?
The real answer to “Why?” is that I want to embrace entropy. I can’t control everything, but I can control myself—my emotions, my reactions, my actions. There’s no endpoint, no final destination; there’s only the journey, and learning to enjoy it is my goal.
I’ve realized there’s a direct link between happiness, problem-solving, and boredom. Happiness thrives on contrast, and problems provide that contrast. I’ll dive deeper into this next time.
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