Don’t let dream stealers hold you back

Have you ever shared a dream with someone—bursting with excitement and positivity—only to have them immediately point out all the reasons it won’t work? They rationalize why you should stop dreaming, dampening your enthusiasm with their doubts. These people are what I call dream stealers. The saddest part is, they’re often your closest friends or even family members.

But do you know what’s worse? We are often our own biggest dream stealers. We come up with all sorts of logical reasons why our dreams are unattainable: lack of money, time constraints, family obligations, language barriers—you name it. I’m sure you can relate; perhaps your last bout of self-doubt wasn’t too long ago.

I was in the same boat. I stole my own biggest dream: to become a professional adventure photographer. Ten years ago, back in Russia, I was a promising extreme sports photographer. My work was gaining recognition; I was published in national sports magazines and covered major events. Then I moved to the United States. You might think this was the perfect opportunity—the land of endless adventure! But instead, I chose the safer path and continued my career in design. My inner dream stealer whispered, “Come on, you’re a fresh immigrant with limited English skills. Stick with design; it’ll bring you more money, and faster.”

But here’s the thing: Dreams propel us forward. There are many ways to pursue them, and if one path doesn’t work out, there’s always another. I realized this myself. Instead of blaming myself, I started thinking about how I could still be an adventure photographer. I soon discovered that I didn’t necessarily want to make it my profession. I wanted to shoot for the love of it, to enjoy the process, to participate in competitions and win them—but not rely on it for my livelihood. I understood that I could use the income from my design career to support my dream in a different way. I could create my own projects, travel to places I wanted to explore, and photograph what I loved.

So, what am I trying to say? Don’t give up on your dreams. Instead, delve deeper into why you want them. What’s your true motivation? Sometimes, it’s about finding a door to walk through rather than breaking down a wall.

Here’s a simple exercise that might help:

Write down your dream and why you desire it. Use a piece of paper or a notebook.

After each reason, ask yourself “Why?” Keep digging deeper. For example:

I want to be a professional photographer.

Why?

Because I want to earn money from it.

Why?

Because money is an external measure of my success.

Why?

Looks like I need external validation, so can I find fulfillment elsewhere?

By doing this exercise, you uncover the real reasons behind your desires. You outsmart your internal dream stealer by finding alternative paths. Eventually, that inner critic becomes a helper, asking “Why?” to guide you toward your true motivations. And that’s when your dreams start becoming reality.

Remember, don’t let dream stealers—whether others or yourself—hold you back. Keep dreaming, keep asking why, and keep moving forward.