Looking for happiness?

We all are looking for happiness. No one wants to suffer, it’s obvious. But why are we not happy every day? Every second of our life? We are trying to get some by buying new things, traveling, eating delicious food, going to shows and movies. But every time it’s harder and harder. New things give us less and less of happiness, new countries don’t excite us anymore. We are nostalgic about delicious candies from childhood, but if we try it now usually, they would not be as much delicious as they were.

And at the same time, we see some people around us. They don’t have a lot of money, they have not very exciting jobs, but they look really happy. Why?

I had been curious about this for a while. I observed people around me, and, that is more important, I watched myself. I was trying to understand that makes me happy, and what makes happy others. I was thinking about the correlation between things, actions, life events, and happiness. It wasn’t easy to find it out. I was happy when I was a child and did not have fancy toys. I played with my friends in the dust, and I was happy. And I was happy when I finally got some cool toys. I got a lot of happiness just with a bit of a chocolate bar and a cup of coffee after 5 hours of a hard hike. And I was happy when I bought my first car. I remember my first travel trip. I was so happy. Everything around me was so excited!

But new toys, more chocolate bars, new cars and more countries did not make me happier. I had been thinking and thinking and thinking… And I figured out one thing. We mess happiness and joyful. We pursue happiness by getting joyfulness. And this is our big mistake. Joyfulness depends on the outside world. It depends on things, events, other people. And joyfulness is short. That’s why after buying new stuff we feel joy but several days later we unhappy again. The same thing is with traveling, events. You name it. It’s like a drug dose. We need it more and more. And each treatment should be bigger for the same amount of joyfulness. We are getting to used to it. We are used to joyfulness.

But pure happiness is a totally different thing. It’s inside our mind. It doesn’t require anything from outside world. That’s why you can see smiling happy people who, by our notion, should not be happy at all, because they are poor, live in third-world countries and don’t have cool stuff.

Right after that insight, I started to recall moments of happiness and joyfulness in my life. And I quickly found out that it’s not about chocolate bars or a new car, or a new trip. All the happy moments were about living in the moment. In the present time. And it’s easy to feel the difference. When you are truly happy, it’s like a calm ocean inside you. It’s a massive feeling, and it lasts a long time. Joyfulness is more like a waterfall. It could be huge, it could be small, but it’s tempestuous, and it falls down and breaks on small drops.

After joyfulness, you always feel emptiness, even sometimes depression. And as soon it comes you start to search for new things that will give you some joy again.

But with the happiness, you don’t need it. Because it’s inside you. You already have it. That you need just calm down your thoughts, this noisy voice inside your head, focus on the present moment and feel the happiness.

I bet you have felt it in your life. Do you remember that feeling when you read a book, sitting in a cozy chair, or watch on a bonfire somewhere on a beach? Can you recall that calm and peaceful feeling inside you? Yep, this is your internal happiness. This is “living in the moment.”

So, do you want to stop this endless race for joyfulness and start to feel the happiness? If you do, just have a seat and calm your mind. There is no the past. The past is gone. There is no any future; there is only the present. Try to calm down all your thoughts inside your mind. Breath slowly by your belly and focus on it. It’s a simple meditation. This is not about any spiritual things. This is about your physiology. Breath and focus on it. Observe the world around you. Don’t think just see. Listen to sounds, watch the world and feel your breath. As soon as your internal voice and your worried thoughts come down some calmness and happiness will come up. It requires some practice, but it worth it. Because you can find your happiness today.