Dreams are not free

We all have dreams—whether it’s embarking on unforgettable travels, securing a work promotion, landing a new job, achieving financial freedom, or starting a family. As adults, we understand that dreams don’t simply come true overnight; they require effort and commitment. We’re usually prepared for the hard work, but there’s something we’re often not ready for: the side effects that come with realizing our dreams.

Yes, every dream has its side effects. We’re so focused on the achievement itself that we rarely consider the unexpected challenges that might accompany it. For example, attaining financial freedom and early retirement might bring potential boredom or anxiety about market downturns. That dream job at a famous company, complete with a generous paycheck and a sense of stability, may also demand long hours at the office and shorter vacations. Starting a family introduces sleepless nights and a significant reduction in personal freedom.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not being pessimistic. These side effects don’t overshadow the joy of achieving our dreams, but they can catch us off guard if we’re not prepared. Because we tend to underestimate their impact, they can become more noticeable and distracting than they need to be.

Often, after we’ve reached our goals, we enjoy the success for a while. Then, these unexpected challenges start to surface, diverting our attention. Suddenly, we find ourselves focusing more on these side effects than on the positive aspects of our accomplishments.

The tricky part is that it’s nearly impossible to anticipate all the side effects in advance. They’re unique to each person and each dream. While some common challenges exist, even if someone warns us, we’re likely to brush it off, thinking, “I want this dream—don’t bother me with the downsides!”

But the side effects will come, inevitably. The good news is, I’ve discovered some personal strategies to handle them, and I hope they help you as well.

Pause Before Reacting
When you start noticing side effects, resist the urge to overreact. Take a moment to reflect. Remember, this was your dream—you wanted it so badly, and now you’ve achieved it! Appreciate yourself for making it this far. Recall how this goal once seemed distant, and now it’s your reality. Celebrate your success.

Embrace the Entire Experience
While you might not have expected all these side effects, understand that they’re part of the package. It might sound counterintuitive, but try to find enjoyment even in the challenges. Embrace the discomfort that comes with these side effects; it’s a sign of life and growth. This isn’t random hardship—it’s the price of your dream. You’re experiencing these challenges because you now have so much more. For instance, those sleepless nights are a trade-off for holding a warm, sleeping baby who will soon smile up at you when you wake.

Manage Your Expectations
I wrote a post about it earlier, but in this case, avoid setting unrealistic expectations by overestimating the positives and underestimating the negatives. Once you’ve achieved your dream, immerse yourself in it fully—both the good and the bad. It’s impossible to experience only the positive aspects. Our minds need contrast to truly appreciate what we have. Without challenges, even the best things can feel ordinary, or worse, we might start perceiving good things as negative. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as the “blue dot effect.”

Yes, dreams aren’t free—they come with costs. But that’s okay. Focus on what you’ve gained rather than what you’re paying. Often, the price is small compared to the fulfillment your dream brings.

So, when you find yourself grappling with the side effects of a realized dream, take a deep breath and remind yourself why you pursued it in the first place. Embrace both the joys and the challenges, and you’ll find a richer, more rewarding experience awaits you.

Sweet dreams, everyone!